#motheringwithheartandjoy · 2017 · baby elf · pregnancy · Uncategorized

My birth story, 1 year on.

13th December, 2017.
Tonight is emotional.
Tomorrow my baby turns one.
My last baby, will no longer be a baby and I’ve been on the verge of tears all day & I’m pretty sure they are set to erupt anytime now…
When it’s birthday time I get all nostalgic and emotional, I look back at old photos and just go back to those newborn moments. The newborn bubble is the greatest, I could live in a continuous loop of sleepy newborn days where you are so infatuated and in awe it’s intoxicating… But it speeds by at an absolutely ridiculous rate and before you know it, you are sitting there, the night before they turn 1 fighting back the tears as you scroll through photos reminiscing of the moment you met that tiny little person.
So let’s go there, let’s go back and let me tell you my birth story of my son…

Now for a tiny bit of back story, if you followed my pregnancy last year you will know it was pretty average. (To see more click HERE)
There were a few stints in hospital, a diagnosis of an auto immune disorder which causes me to be incredibly sick as well as all day “morning” sickness that lasts my entire pregnancy right up until about a minute before I give birth. All that sickness then lead to irritable uterus early on and a very, very painful pregnancy and well, to be honest I thought I was going to die last year I felt so awful. I was constantly worried about my little “Baby Elf” and each week he stayed in was a milestone because there was a worry he was going to arrive super early, like at one point it would’ve not been viable for him to survive.
But we hit those milestones, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, 32 weeks was a big relief (I could deliver in Toowoomba now, before that would mean a big stay down in Brisbane) 36 weeks and then 38 weeks rolled around…
So due to the concern of “Baby Elf” arriving early, I had undergone 2 rounds of steroid injections to ensure his respiratory system was developed.
For a few months I had been managing my health with medication and just keeping myself “stable” with the bare minimum amount of drugs so it was safe for “Baby Elf” and I. But around 38.5 weeks I started to get sick again, I felt ok but I knew how I feel after being sick for a week or so. It’s not good, heck if I get sick now, after just a few days I’m very weak and drained – add on being pregnant, delivering a baby, recovery & then going straight into life with 2 kids… It wouldn’t have been ideal. So we spoke to my OB & specialist who both agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest if “Baby Elf’ was to arrive a few days early. That way I had strength for birth and recovery.
He was due on the 20th of December, but we opted for an induction and assumed he would arrive the 14th or 15th of December.
During my pregnancy there were concerns if I would be strong enough to handle to a natural birth again, but I was pretty determined to give it ago. I never have much of a birth plan besides get the baby out in a way that will hurt the least! HA! Basically my only request is, give me the darn epidural when I ask for it!

So the 13th of December, we spent the last day as a tiny family of 3 by just being together, we went for a swim, we cuddled and we just cherished these last few moments. Before I left for the hospital that night (induction check in is 7pm) Trent made me Vegemite and cheese on toast, I ate this the night before I went into labour with LuLu.
Trent and LuLu drove me to the hospital and checked me in and letting them leave was the hardest thing, I cried – a lot. Birth is a big deal, things go wrong in birth, I was terrified – I had to start the process alone and that little girl was my whole world. It had been just her and I every single day together for the past 1153 days. And now it was all about to change. I cried because the next time I saw her she wouldn’t be my only baby, she would be my first baby and a big sister. They were happy tears, but scared tears. I had dealt with having to say good bye to them both a lot while they left me in hospital far more than I would’ve liked that year, and I wish Trent could have stayed – but I knew LuLu needed him more.
The plan with the induction is to have the gel inserted around midnight (explains the 7pm check in) well, turns out that night just had to be super busy and mine didn’t get inserted until 3am and then after that is regular obs checks. So I’ve had maybe a couple hours of very broken sleep at this point. I had been awake from 7am Tuesday morning (the 13th) I was partly running on adrenaline and partly just wanting a nap… So by 6am I had my makeup done and I was ready to meet our son.
The plan here was to see how the induction would go and labour on my own, when things started to spark up Trent was going to come back. I wanted him to stay with LuLu for as long as he could, my best friend was organised to arrive to take over looking after her for that day & that night. (We weren’t sure if the induction would work or how it would progress, some inductions take more than a day and some don’t work…) 
My OB arrived around 8:50am to check me, he reinserted the gel and also did a stretch and sweep (holy, ouch!) and that my friends is when my body got a little angry at me. My contractions felt like they were amping up, prior to this I had some basic niggles and discomfort but nothing that would make me stop and take a big breath. But after that point, boy did I have to stop and breath A LOT. After they insert the gel they have to monitor you on the CTG machine for about 1/2 an hour (I think) and laying in the bed is the most uncomfortable thing when you are having contractions. So once that was done I was up and walking the halls, walking around my room and then I got in a hot shower. I felt better when I was moving… I am pretty sure there was a phone call made to Trent around this point that may have been a little emotional because of how much pain I was in.
When I had left the labour ward room where I was on the CTG machine, the nurse told me to monitor my contractions and come back in around 1/2 an hour and tell her how many I was averaging in a 10 minute period. I got back and told her around 8-10 in 10 minutes. I am pretty sure she thought I was an idiot because she said “ah, no sweetie if you were having that many you would be screaming” – so she attached the monitor and sure enough 9 contractions in 10 minutes.
So they decided I needed an injection to calm that all down. Thankfully that worked.
Trent arrived just after that and it was just before lunch time and I was still labouring away with some pretty painful contractions. When he arrived I was due to be released from the CTG machine (woo hoo!) so I went for a walk with him to the cafeteria so he could eat some lunch. And he got so many bad looks from all the women eating their food, because here he was enjoying his meal while his very pregnant & clearly in labour wife waddled/paced around the table like a circling shark breathing like a crazy lady. I didn’t mind, walking was helping me feel better but to an outsider it probably looked liked he was some nasty husband who valued his appetite more than my comfort! It made us laugh a lot!
After Trent was full, I waddled back to my room for a shower. Hot water on my lower back was making me feel a lot better.
My sister arrived at this point, she is a midwife at this hospital so it was nice to have her there. She was able to explain things to me if I didn’t understand and also made sure everything that was happening was in my best interest.
Then it was time to head back around to the CTG machine to check how I was going. When we got there we were told to head on around to the delivery room, because it was time to get that delightful needle in my spine and then my waters would be broken.
I had spoken to my doctor during my pregnancy that I would want an epidural fairly early on. So he had kindly organised it before rupturing my waters. He was worried that once the waters were broken everything may intensify rather quickly and cause me a lot of pain. So I was very grateful that he knew I would prefer the epidural first…
Trent, Nikki and I headed into the labour ward, I put the gown on and we met my anaesthetist.
Funny story; while I was getting the epidural, the doctors phone rang and he asked Trent to answer it – they thought Trent was the anaesthetist. And Trent had to basically be the middle man between the operating theatre and the anaesthetist. We all had a laugh about it.
My water was broken around 2:30pm and synto was started to kick those contractions up a notch.
I was checked around 4:30pm and they said not much was happening and assumed I wouldn’t deliver until the following morning… I was super exhausted at this point and just wanted to sleep, so Nikki decided to head on home around 5pm.

A little while after she left my best friend Kelsie came up to visit with LuLu, it was lovely to see them both. I got one last snuggle of my baby and she headed on off to home to have a sleep over with her little best friend. My mind was fully at ease knowing she was being so well cared for by someone I trust so much.
Around 7:45pm my OB came to check on me, we were not expecting anything to have progressed as the midwives kept saying that my contractions didn’t seem very consistent or strong… So we were very surprised when he looked down and exclaimed “Oh WOW I can see the baby, he’ll be here very soon”! He said he would give him a little time and come back in hour.
So after that I naturally touched up my makeup! (haha) but then I got super tired, I couldn’t even keep my eyes open. And then I got nauseous and had to throw up and I couldn’t stop even with medication. I knew what was about to happen, the same thing happened just before I had Lucy.
The midwives checked and then quickly called for the doctor, who came in had a look and was absolutely blown away at how fast he had come down, he was scrambling to tuck his tie in and get gowned up. My vomiting was bringing the baby down very quickly.
I needed an episiotomy and the vacuum was used, but the birth was calm and silent and just how I hoped. Before we knew it he was here.
Tommy was born at 8:44pm on 14th of December 2016.
He was (still is) a tiny little man, weighing only 6pound 9.5ounces/3000grams. He was born with dark hair and was covered in fur. He was/is exactly how I dreamt my son would be.

But his arrival was a little frightening. He came out with the cord very firmly around his neck and it was a short cord, he was very blue looking. He ended up needing to spend some time on the resus table. I have never felt so helpless or scared. I had just been through months of fearing for the wellbeing of this precious little baby because of my stupid body and the moment he should be in my arms he was metres from me being worked on. But thankfully my prayers were heard because not much later he was in my arms and snuggled in. (He was fine, but in the moment I was petrified, I have a video of the moment he is taken from he and my hands are shaking terribly.)
After getting stitches, baby being monitored, allowing myself to feel a bit better, trying to eat and having a shower – it was very late. So it was around midnight once I finally got back to my room on the ward. I was wrecked!
We made the decision that no one besides Nikki and Kelsie would be told he was here as there was a very important little lady that needed to meet her baby brother first before the rest of our world knew about him.
Trent returned home after midnight and I tried to get some sleep.
He came back up with Lucy the following morning and our girl was head over heels in love with her baby Tommy. As were we, he is so amazing.
We then sent a group text out to every relative & friend that was dear to us. Nearly everyone responded wishing us well, except 2 people and a year on they are still yet to meet our son. A decision they’ve made.
We are so thankful to our amazing God for our precious son, he is the most sweetest little man and an absolute little charmer. Everyone who meets him can’t help but smile, he is an absolute sweetheart and my heart feels like it’s about to burst constantly because this boy, he just loves his Mumma! He is very small, but he is so determined and strong. He is so close to walking, he has started to talk and he adores his sister so much! He loves his trucks & cars and enjoys a cuddle.
His favourite foods are greek yoghurt and avocado, blueberries, roast chicken and boobie. (I am so proud to have been able to breastfeed for 1 year! We were worried that I wouldn’t be able to at all because of how sick I was. So it was all a just “see how it goes” scenario. Once again we smashed our milestones… 1 year on and still going strong!)

We are so proud of our little man. He completed us.
Happy Birthday Mr Wigglesworth, you are so very loved darling.

Snapchat; Bindy_30

I will love him unconditionally, And I’ll take the blame , And claim him every time, Yeah, y’all, he’s mine, I thank God, he’s mine. – Rodney Atkins.

baby elf · pregnancy

Pregnancy update; First trimester. {Baby Elf}

Hello everyone and welcome to my first pregnancy update on this site!

I am currently about 15 1/2 weeks pregnant, which means I have recently finished the first trimester – hallelujah!
Now I thought I would do pregnancy update blog posts – I don’t think I’ll be doing videos at this point. I wont say I will never do them, but at this point in time it just isn’t right for me.

So let us get into this I need to bring you all up to speed, a lot has happened!
Lets rewind…
I found out I was pregnant, before I had missed my period… But I did not think at all I was pregnant. Confusing, I know!
Firstly we have been trying for a baby for a fair bit of time, more on that another day though.
Anyway, I have the ‘Maybe Baby’ ovulation saliva microscope, the whole of March it told me I was not ovulating, so I just chalked that month up as a loss & was planning to see my OB about fertility advice in the coming weeks – but then when my period was almost due it showed the ovulating result, “ferning”… I thought that was incredibly strange and after some googling done by my sister & I we discovered that it can actually be caused by pregnancy! I didn’t want to get my hopes up at all, but my sister was very confident I was. This was around the 13/14th of April.
The morning I was due for my period (15th of April) I did a test & sure enough – positive!
I booked in immediately for a doctors appointment that day & requested 2 blood tests over a few days. This is not always necessary, but I needed to check my hCG levels were rising at a good and acceptable rate before getting too excited. (The levels all came back very good) 
I had 1 blood test that Friday & the following on the Monday.
The very next Wednesday (20/April) was my first obstetrician appointment with my new OB. My first OB that I went through with LuLu has since retired unfortunately.
After that obstetrician appointment I was put on daily doses of megafol, aspirin & progesterone. I had fortnightly check ups until 12 weeks & I also had regular blood tests.
This was all done to ensure Baby Elf was staying strong & healthy & that my pregnancy was progressing well & normally.
At our 12 week appointment we had our nuchal scan, which we passed perfectly. Baby Elf is looking like a very strong, healthy and active little baby who should arrive just before Christmas, around the 22nd or 23rd of December.
As for gender of our baby, one doctor said boy & the other said girl – so we’ve narrowed it down to those 2 options. So hopefully at our next appointment we will find out!
In the past few weeks I have been incredibly unwell with cold/flu symptoms and also had bronchitis which required a course of antibiotics. I got over one lot of being unwell just to become unwell again. I feel like when I am pregnant my immune system just turns to rubbish! So being actually sick, plus all day morning sickness & exhaustion just wore me down a fair bit. I am much better at the moment, mainly just sinus & my allergies seem to flare up super easy.


  • If you followed my pregnancy journey with LuLu (Rexy) you may remember I was very unwell with her pretty much the entire time and this pregnancy is shaping up to be the same. The first trimester was rough with all day “morning sickness”, I still am unwell with all day nausea & I throw up pretty much every morning at least once, but it is getting slightly better. I have been on anti-nausea medication zofran mainly and occasionally maxalon. Maxalon though makes me very drowsy so I try to avoid having that.
  • I’ve also experienced pretty severe exhaustion in the first trimester which for me is incredibly frustrating. I am someone who loves getting a lot done each day & being a very active Mum, but I have had to take some time to look after myself and be a bit easier on myself so I can rest. Often it is just LuLu & I during the day, she knows when I need to rest and sit down and also is incredibly caring if I am being sick. She has such a kind heart for such a young child! But I have been going a bit stir crazy with just sitting around, I like getting stuff done or doing activities! But thankfully now my energy levels are improving!
  • To go along with the exhaustion I occasionally have a bit of insomnia, where I just lay there in bed at night wide awake. Which drives me insane because I am so incredibly tired.
  • Another sleep related symptom is I have been having some crazy dreams.
  • I have had a few minor nose bleeds.
  • I occasionally feel light headed & dizzy, but I think that goes along with me throwing up and feeling weak.
  • And just in the past week or so I have started to have reflux at night time.
  • I’ve also recently been getting massive headaches which are very close to migraines.


  • I have not had a ton of cravings. Mainly food aversions.
  • Cooked vegetables make me feel sick – like peas, corn etc. I can eat salad fine but hot/steamed/boiled veggies just make me want to hurl! I still eat them but it is not pleasant! (I had the same issue while pregnant with LuLu)
  • Similar to LuLu one of the main things that helps with my nausea is hot salty chips, this time from Super Rooster (a local take away store). 
  • I’ve also been enjoying chicken & gravy rolls and spuds in the park! Not necessarily healthy and these aren’t everyday foods, but they are meals I really look forward to eating!
  • Also very early in my pregnancy I really loved hospital sandwiches (more on that soon)
  • Similar to when I was pregnant with LuLu, I don’t feel like big hearty meals – more light & summery foods. Often all I can think about for dinner is BBQ chicken & coleslaw burgers! It is the middle of winter, I should be cooking hot meals and I do for Trent and LuLu but I don’t enjoy them at all!
  • I am also very uninterested in cooking dinner, it actually makes me feel very nauseous at times.

I feel ok. We had a bit of a rough time getting this baby and I will go into that in a separate post, so there is an incredible amount joy & excitement about this pregnancy, but there is always that thought of fear – like is everything ok? LuLu is so sweet & very excited, she talks to Baby Elf daily. She will make a beautiful big sister. I still worry about how little Elf is doing because at this point I am still not really feeling any movement, I think once I feel some movement I will be a bit more “at ease”. I have found myself a bit emotional at times, I’ve taken somethings to heart a bit more than I usually do. I’ve also found myself even more protective with LuLu, like even more than normal! Mumma Bear instincts!

Other pregnancy news;

  • I was actually pregnant at the same time as my sister! I was very early but it still was nice. I was 7 weeks pregnant when I helped her with her labour & was in the delivery room photographing her birth. It was a very special time. And I spent a fair bit of time at the hospital with her and ate a lot of hospital sandwiches! Which was great, because at the time they were one of my main “cravings”.
  • We heard the heart beat for the first time on the 10th of May 2016.
  • LuLu has come to many of the OB appointments with us, she loves seeing Baby Elf on the “TV” when I get a scan. We also try to schedule all my appointments around Trent’s roster so he is always there.
  • We have already set up the baby room. We moved the nursery from beside the playroom to the opposite end of the house. Basically we swapped my study/craft room with the nursery. For LuLu when she used the nursery this set up was ideal, but with a new baby & a toddler playing a toy room it maybe too noisy. It isn’t decorated or anything yet, we will wait to find out the gender first. But all the furniture it set up down there.
  • Our Christmas in May celebration was actually the day we told my brothers about Baby Elf.

Belly shot;
Here is the belly progress…


I think that’s all of it, pregnancy+Mum brain is a nightmare for trying to recall information!
If you have any questions please feel free to ask & I will try my best to answer them in my next pregnancy update!
Also if you are pregnant too, I would love to hear how you are doing!
If you would like to stay up to date with our day to day happenings please check out my social media;

Snap Chat; Bindy_30

Have a lovely week.