Category: Sunday series

2018 · IBD · life · real · religion · Sunday series

Sunday Series; Anger towards God and what’s on my heart & in my head. {IBD}

JustBindy1 Comment

ice cream party (16)

So it’s been a while since I’ve done a “Sunday Series” and to be honest I wrote a bulk of this post – the raw & angry section on Friday night, in tears and on my phone while everyone else was asleep … But I chose not to hit post.
I prayed about it instead, gosh I was cross at God that night, He copped an earful from me… I feel like He is ok with that. I kept getting the feeling that every single damn thing we are hit with in life is a lesson, a blessing and those hard times are there to teach us something, even if it is just the story to tell – to help someone else. So who knows who this will help, maybe it’ll just help me to get it off my chest… But let’s do this…
Right now I am sitting in my room on a Saturday night, listening to my baby cry for me. He is ok, his Daddy has him – but that baby boy wants me and it’s breaking my heart. He wants to be fed back to sleep. He doesn’t understand why he can’t have “boobie” like he usually does… Twice last night he woke and far out was he angry that I wasn’t the one comforting him. I laid in bed, tears stinging my eyes as Trent cuddled him out in the lounge room. But I think I am getting ahead of myself, here’s what I wrote in the late hours of Friday night, while my face felt hot and had a constant pouring of tears…

Today (Friday) was hard, this Friday really sucked, I hate having a bad Friday – it’s like it jinxes the weekend.
I had my specialist appointment today where I knew we would be discussing “level 2 treatment” (for my IBD – if you would like to read about that you can CLICK HERE)
I failed the safest and most basic treatment, after starting my first lot of medication after my scopes at the beginning of July, 2-3 weeks later I started to struggle to breathe – that was a severe reaction. It was quiet traumatic for me, it was awful gasping for breath and nothing could be done except to let my body come off the medication. It took about 2 weeks and then I was fine, I could breath again normally. Anyway, the next treatment option is pretty hardcore, so intense that it’s 1 tablet per week. And folic acid tablets every other day of the week.
The shit part of this, (besides the IBD) is that I cannot have any more children in the near future. If I want to have anymore babies I have to be off this drug for 6 months. And sadly I have to cut short my breastfeeding with Tommy and that breaks my heart because I know he isn’t ready. He is ready in the sense that we smashed our goal of 1 year, on Friday funnily enough he was the exact same age Lucy was when I last fed her – 20 months and 3 days. But with Tommy I was hoping to get to 2years. Back when I was pregnant with him and diagnosed with IBD we thought I may not be able to feed at all I was so sick. But we did it, I’m proud of what we have achieved but I know he still needs me. And I still need that tiny shred of babyhood. Trent & I have talked about the reality of having no more kids for awhile. He is very happy with 2, I however would love like 10 – or at least 1 more, but I see where he is coming from. When I’m pregnant I get dreadfully ill and our world stops, I don’t want to put us through that again. I basically become a useless human and I can barely care for myself, let alone 2 small children – so I know having no more kids is the sensible choice. But hearing my doctor say that I cannot under any circumstances fall pregnant on this tablet was very shocking, because while a baby isn’t being planned if it happened it would be wonderful (& incredibly surprising). But now it’s very final. Like I know we won’t have another but this just makes it very certain for now. (I say for now, but that’s just my Mumma heart staying hopeful. The reality is – it won’t happen.)
I just wish I had that finished feeling so many women have, like I have friends that are 110% done with having babies, but I am not… But I know I have to be…

So letting go of that last moment of babyhood is rough, especially when it is happening so abruptly. My heart is broken. I hate this disease – I hate it so much. It’s stolen so much joy from my life. My pregnancy with Tommy was all about this stupid illness, I couldn’t enjoy life or being pregnant for my final time, I just was scared the entire time and now it’s cutting short our breastfeeding journey.
It’s fucked honestly.
Even doing this intense drug won’t cure this disease, it just hopefully puts it into remission and if everything goes to plan we can reassess in 1-2 years, my doctor said some people chose to come off of the treatment at that point but a high percentage relapse & she said judging by the severity of my disease, if we can manage it and then I chose to stop the drug there is a super high chance I would become ill again. But we will cross that bridge when we get there, we have to hope it works first or it’s onto the next medicine…
I had a whinge about this on my insta stories on Friday and I had a mixed response of messages. Some people were just beautiful & saying they are sorry & just being kind. Others were sensibly saying my health is most important and I’ve done well feeding Tommy, I should wean and start the treatment and others were saying to keep feeding him and put the treatment off. I feel those last group of people don’t actually understand my problem.
Trust me I asked my specialist this, she said very bluntly “you can wait, but if you do and I can confidently predict you are heading towards having a major flare up and how extensive your disease is, you’ll get so sick that we will be at a loss for treatment options”. Do you know what that then leaves us the only option for? Surgery. And my whole bowel is sick, not just parts, so if 1 part goes bad the whole thing is.
So to avoid surgery & options I don’t even want to consider yet, I know I need to try this medicine. Trent is 110% supportive of this, he told me it’s not even a question – we are going to wean Tommy and start the treatment. That’s why he is out there right now with one very cranky 20 month old.
So that is where I am at. Being forced to stop breastfeeding, something I love and I find is so special to me. With LuLu I weaned her at exactly the same age Tommy is now, but she was ready – she didn’t fuss or care. Tommy though is a Mumma’s boy, he is so attached to me – like LuLu is to Trent… Every baby is different and I know this is harder on him than it was her, and I think that is what upsets me the most. So for now, he only gets a feed at bedtime and that will phased out very shortly and I plan to start the medication ASAP.
In an ideal world I would opt out of the medication, drink a herbal tea or some sort of magic broth and be cured – but it’s not going to happen. This disease is incurable, only manageable and it doesn’t matter what magic diet you are on, it won’t change the fact my gut is trying to kill itself. My scopes revealed my entire large intestine has highly moderate active disease, the entire thing – like it’s every where. That is way, way worse than I ever thought, like the entire stupid thing is sick! Honestly for the past 2 years since I was diagnosed I’ve been telling myself I am actually “not that sick” – that it all could be just in my head… It was a bit of a smack in the face to be told “no you are sick, you need to do something about this or it will get very bad”.
I hate going to doctors appointments, I walk out so overwhelmed and confused. Being sick is dreadful enough, having to remember every result, medication and test is worse. Especially when your brain is foggy 98% of the time… I’m flat out remembering milk let alone everything else! I am just hopeless at being sick, I hate rest and I forget everything! During that appointment my recent blood tests also confirmed I have markers for arthritis – so I have to at some point get that further investigated. But the drug I’m about to take could help with my bone/joint pain…
This drug that I am about to possibly take is scaring the absolute life out of me though, like it is hardcore. Every time I read about it, something new pops up and makes me feel physically sick at how intense it is. It’s used (in larger doses) for chemo. So yeah, there is a whole host of side effects that can come along with that and then we have to play the game of is the side effect worth tolerating so I am “better”. I’m just praying I can stay on the minimum dose and manage my disease and have zero side effects. That is the best case scenario.
So yeah that’s my thoughts for now… Thank you for understanding why this post is all over the place and Lord only knows if you understood my ramblings. But maybe this was meant to be written, just to keep my own sanity or maybe you are dealing with something similar and that’s why you stumbled upon this mess of words and emotions.
I get it – this disease is dreadful (I have a few other colourful words for it, but I’ve already sworn twice in this post…) and I’m sorry if what I’ve written here hits home, if you can relate or you are dealing with or have dealt with something similar.
Feel free to reach out to me on my social media if you wish. Praying for you and for me!

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And friends, if you are dealing with a hard time in your life health related or not – I am praying for you. Sometimes we cannot see why we are struggling in certain seasons, we can’t see the big picture of why and our life – but He can. Every little thing in our life, the good, the bad, the heartbreak and the regret – it’s all for a reason. One day you understand why, but gosh I know what it’s like to be in the trenches of it, wading through so many emotions with your hands in the air going “Why? Why this? Why me? Aren’t you meant to love me?” I get it. I’m there, I’ve been mad at Him and now I’m just heartbroken & feeling very low… I do not have time to be sick, my life is so full and rich in excitement – we have so much to do and enjoy and I can’t. I want to be living my best life and right now I feel like I just survive most days, I collapse into bed sore & worn out. I do know I have to learn to stop over committing so much, the other weekend I had to pull out of some fundraising work I was doing and I hated it, letting people down was awful. But I had to put me first, I couldn’t do that, do what I needed to at home and feel ok. I was so weak, but I am learning to realise I can’t “do it all”.
97.5% of the time I pile on the makeup, plaster on the smile and I’m good to go. Even when it hurts to just walk – I don’t care – I am pushing this illness to the back of my mind – ignoring it. Maybe you get that, maybe something else is hurting you and you just push it down and ignore it. But eventually we have to face it, we have to deal with it – even when it’s scary & confronting or unknown… If we push it aside & down forever it just grows & becomes worse, than we are dealing with an even worse mess! This can be a health problem, anger, hurt – anything. They are all so similar. No matter the problem, everything needs to be eventually dealt with. And when we have to do that, it’s so wonderful to be surrounded by people who love you and support you, but sometimes you are alone or no one else gets it. If you have no one else, He is there. He put it before you, He will bring you through it. I keep telling myself that, our Lord gave me this challenge (and I am not impressed by it nor do I get why…) but I just have to trust His timing, His plan and have faith that He will get me through it. Scary drugs and all… I’m thankful that it’s this and nothing worse, but far out I just wish it was something relatively basic, like I don’t know a cold… But it is what it is, and I just have to trust that He already knows the outcome, what happens is His plan.
Still pissed about it, but I have faith, I’ll be ok – just not right at this very moment…
Thanks for reading (especially if you made it all the way to the end.)  Your support means more than you realise.

If you would like to donate towards research for a cure for IBD and also help to raise awareness please CLICK HERE…  

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A few verses & quotes that have helped me recently…

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:1-2

The only way God can show us He is in control, is to put us in situations we cannot control.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 30:17

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3

Jesus replied, “you do not realise now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7

God will redeem your pain and replace it with purpose. Priscilla Shirer

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place. Psalm 118:5

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. Romans 5:3-4

Dear brothers and sisters. when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4

We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy. Colossians 1:11

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail or abandon you. Deuteronomy 31:6

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come to test you, as if something strange were happening to you. 1 Peter 4:12

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Your illness doesn’t define you, your strength and courage does.

ice cream party (17)

2018 · music · Sunday series

Sunday series; my latest playlist additions.

JustBindy1 Comment

Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the rock of our salvation. Psalm 95:1

Hey friends,
Happy Sunday…
One of the most common questions I get asked is what is on my playlist. Random right, but I like that question.
Back in grade 12 I use to dream of being a music journalist or a photographer at festivals like Big Day Out. (I was given THIS book by my cousin one year and I love it, I often flip through it with major FOMO because I never made it to one)
I love listening to music and if I don’t have the kids in the car, my songs are normally played at full volume… If the kids are in the car, I still listen to my music (ain’t no children’s songs in my car) but at a more eardrum friendly level, and we all sing along (LuLu loves ‘The Outback Club’ by Lee Kernaghan) 

Anyway, as I was saying… I often get asked about what I am listening to and when I found this new artist I HAD to share him with you all.
Now the sounds I like are basically any American country (American country radio stations play 24/7 in our house) with some christian music thrown in, The Zac Brown Band being my favourite band for at least the last 8-9 years, but any country music I normally like… (And I’ll always love me some T-Swift, I’ve been a Swiftie since before there were Swifties.)
I am always on the look out for new music and I often buy a few songs here and there to update my playlist, but it’s pretty rare that I ever buy a full album. But I bought this guys entire album!
Friends let me introduce you to, Zach Williams.Ice Cream Party (12)I am in love with THIS song and LuLu and I often are belting this one out in the car…  She actually asks for it now. It is an incredible song! New favourite right there. It’s got a great message and awesome sound, I adore everything about it! The lyrics are spot on and it’s so catchy – I am obsessed!
The other 2 songs on his YouTube are quiet powerful and remind me of the intense video clips Rascal Flatts use to put out – remember those? THIS one is incredibly powerful as is THIS one.
I’ve briefly listened to the rest of the album, I really like it. The songs are faith based and really strong & powerful and the sound is outstanding.
Give it a listen and let me know your thoughts…
What songs are you loving right now?
If you listen to Christian music, I would love to know your top 3 favourites!

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2017 · life · positivity · reflection · Sunday series · truth

Sunday series on a Friday… {Contentment}

JustBindyLeave a comment

Hey friends,

Let’s talk contentment… Being content., happy where you are, at peace with what you’ve got – you know the deal.
I shared the other night on insta-stories that I found tremendous peace with where I am currently at with my little blog. In this “online world” every single thing is numbers, it matters greatly how many views, followers, likes, shares, etc – everything, every single number matters and you know what… I’m kind of a bit done with having it be that way. I am sick of watching my numbers go up and down. And wondering what I am doing wrong or right. Bottom line is, I am me – I put out the content I feel I need to and what I want to share. Like me or don’t like me, that’s fine.
I said in that post that I am aware I’m a small fish in a big pond & I’m fine with that, that suits me fine – I’m like 5ft/5ft 1 – being little suits me.
That very next morning I woke up to an inner voice trying to tell me, I’m small because I’m not worthy to be anything else… You know the voice, that voice that comes into your mind and undermines your positive thoughts, the voice that tries to drown out the quiet and loving voice we should all be listening for – you know the one, the voice that means nothing good.
And I let it eat at me, it got me down briefly.
And then I realised my worthiness, my contentment & joy isn’t found in that negative voice – it’s found in the one that’s whispering to me, reminding me about the Mums I have encouraged, the positive messages I get weekly, the beautiful connections I’ve made, reminding me of what I have achieved in my “online career” and assuring me what I put out there is useful and needed in this world of many voices. My voice maybe small, but my message matters.
I think this can be compared to so many scenarios in our everyday life, we feel content and then a voice of doubt creeps in, we compare, we lose that joy and secure feeling and suddenly we aren’t happy, we are envious and we are negative.
Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13
“I am not saying this because I am need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
That is spot on, Jesus is the one who gave me my contentment and it wasn’t His voice trying to fill my mind with doubt. But that of the enemy.
I pray you remember this when a negative voice tries to drown out your positive and content thoughts.

content
I’m so content with my 2 little loves.

I hope this post encouraged you today friends…
Each of our lives and paths are different, but we are all where we are meant to be and still slowly moving to where we are intended to be, all part of a greater plan. We can either be content and at peace with that or be miserable. I chose the joy, each and every darn time, because I want a joy filled life. Even if my current place isn’t the ideal in my mind or the times life is a bit chaotic or hard, I don’t control the end game – that’s out of my hands, but I have faith.
So yes, I will keep striving for more, working and aiming higher – but that doesn’t mean I am not content with where I am. I am grateful for my little platform and I’m thankful you are here to read my post.
Thank you.
Are you feeling content with where you are at?
What are you working towards currently?

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religion · Sunday series

Sunday Series; Why do I believe in God. {Q&A}

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Sunday Series…
Welcome back…
I haven't done one of these in a little while…
But I thought I would get back to basics.
Answer some really real & simple questions, questions that I have had put to me at one point or another either directly or indirectly…
Why? Why do you believe in God?
Short answer, because I do and it makes perfect sense to me.
Long answer… How can I not believe in God? Every single second of the day there is evidence of God. My daughter is the best example I have of our great God, I prayed every day for a couple of long & very trying years for her & now that we have her I thank Him every day. I guess it depends on your mindset though, but I constantly see God. It might be a beautiful sunrise or sunset, it maybe a random kookaburra when I am driving somewhere (that bird holds special meaning to me), it may just be something goes my way or something doesn't go my way and then eventually I realise why it didn't. There are endless examples of God to me. But it is how I choose to look at the world.
I don't claim to be perfect & I sure know I am not the "perfect Christian" – but I do certainly try. But I am a normal sinner like everyone else in this world, I know I fail & am not always a good person, but I know our Lord Jesus Christ loves me & died for my sins. I know sometimes I probably make God shake his head & probably put his head in hands in disbelief at what I have done or sometimes do, but it is part of being human – we all make wrong calls, we all sin, we all are imperfect people – but we are perfectly us and everything we do is for a reason and is part of a greater plan. But that is my belief. 
Basically, I believe in God because I can. Because to me it makes sense, I would prefer to live a life believing in God than get to heaven & have lived my life as someone who never accepted Jesus Christ into my heart and realise I am not getting into heaven. 
I believe because I can't go a day without seeing some form of evidence that our God exists. I believe because in my soul & heart – it feels right. There is no hard evidence I can give you, but there is no evidence you can give me that proves he doesn't exist.

Great if you believe, but why do you openly speak about it so much? Aren't you a hypocrite because you aren't a perfect Christian? 
This one confuses & frustrates me a lot! 
I've never once, ever claimed to be a perfect person. I will be the first to throw my hand in the air and admit I am flawed. Heck, I have a temper, I swear, I like to drink every now & then and our good Lord knows all that and more. He knows every single part of me, the good, the bad & the downright dreadful. Every awful thought and every good deed – he knows it all. And why shouldn't I use the platform I've been given to talk about my belief in religion? About what being a Christian means to me. I think me being ridiculed & called hypocritical is fairly low. 
At the end of the day what God knows about me is infinitely more important than what other people think of me. So I just don't really care about the negative opinions of others, especially if they are because I am proud of my faith.
I feel it is also biblical to be proud of being a Christian, it states in the bible that we are to go into the world & proclaim God's word. (Mark 16:15) It doesn't matter though if that is only speaking to a friend or using a platform that we are given to talk about God, it comes down to your own interpretation. 
At the end of the day, I am not ashamed of believing in God & I don't know why I would be. I almost question how serious some people are in their beliefs if they are too ashamed to openly speak about Jesus.
I been told by people that they don't speak about Jesus Christ because they find the people who preach the gospel hypocrites because they aren't perfect Christians. My very simple response to that is if we were sitting around waiting for a perfect Christian to spread the word of God we would be waiting forever. As I previously said I am not perfect nor is anyone else walking this earth.
I don't write posts about religion to offend people, that isn't my goal here. My goal is just to show I am proud of my beliefs & to simply maybe change 1 persons outlook on being a Christian or help someone else be proud of the way they feel. I try to explain why I feel the way I do, to explain situations I face & how I deal with them and just be honest about my faith. If this isn't for you that is fine. But don't ridicule me for it. 

Why believe now? I knew you back when you were a young adult & you didn't seem to believe then?
Fair call to an extent… I attended a catholic school for pretty much the first 9 years of my schooling life, so I have always had knowledge about religion & did study it. I also did alter serving at the church we attended. So I've always known there was a God & believed. I had some serious doubts when I was about 12 & my Pop passed away. I've now matured and have a totally different outlook on death, which we can discuss another day. But no, I didn't openly believe in God when I was younger, I believed but it wasn't something I spoke about or acted on. It has taken me a few years to get where I am today. A lot of it started by meeting Trent. Not saying he changed me or made me this way. It was more to do with the idea of getting married. I see marriage as a very special & religious act and when we were starting to prepare for our wedding & starting a family I became a lot more interested in my faith. It has just grown from there & the more I devote myself to learning & devoting myself to God the more confident I am to openly speak about my faith. 

I love this. It can be interpreted in a few ways, but for this post I think it is very meaningful – I am not ashamed about talking about God or my faith because my heart is full of belief.  

Right, well I still don't believe.
That is totally fine & your call. I pass no judgement on you for that but in return I expect that you should pass no judgement on me. I pray one day you want to accept Jesus Christ as your saviour and into your heart & if you ever want to have a chat about faith make sure you remember I am here.

Have a blessed Sunday friends.

dreams · goals · housewife to huntress · positivity · shooting & hunting · Sunday series

Sunday Series; Let me ask you a question…

JustBindyLeave a comment

I read a question the other day that has really stuck with me…

“what would you do if you knew you were guaranteed to succeed?” 

That question honestly has not left my mind at all and at times it has made me a bit sad.

I feel I have so many goals & dreams that most likely will never be achieved in my life time, but at the same time the thought I may not achieve everything I dream of just pushes me to at least give them ago. 
So what would I do… 
Well…
  • Firstly and it’s the thing I strive to do every single day – be the very best Mother in this world. I know that it is a fairly impossible task as I will never be my Mother, but I give it everything I have and I am determined to be the best I can. I also want to be the best wife to my ability. 
  • I want to be the best version of myself I can – we develop constantly. Our interests, attitudes, likes, dislikes are constantly evolving as we pass through each season of our life – but no matter what, I just always want to remain a good person. 
  • I would want to a great Australian female hunter or at least just be able to hunt, I have had this deep desire to learn to shoot & be a hunter (either with bow or gun) for what seems like the past few years. I’ve never had the chance to go because it’s more of a thing my Dad, Trent & my brothers do – kind of a “girl free” event, but they are slowly working out I still want to go – so maybe one day I’ll get to go. I know I need to work on my accuracy a lot more – but it is a working progress & something I’ll be starting to work on very soon.
  • To go along with the goal of one day being able to hunt, I would also love to be able to skin my kills! If I kill a fox I know it may happen, as my Dad is great at it & will teach me! Ultimately I would love to learn how to do taxidermy – but not on pets (because that is creepy), just for hunting trophies! It is unlikely to happen as I don’t have the time to commit to learn something that is so incredibly hard & detailed, but – it’s a goal. (Also, I would love to learn to butcher my own meat).
  • I would move to America – I am not even joking. I have this very strong pull towards America, I honestly feel like I need to visit the South or even move there! The big touristy cities (L.A, L.V, N.Y etc) don’t interest me that much, New York would be fun, but it’s not a must see for me. Anywhere in the South would make me happy – heck I would even move to Texas. I love Australia I truly do and I know things in real life are different to how they appear online but I have a really strong urge to at least visit America – one day!! 
  • I would start a magazine. This has been something I’ve thought of for a little while, especially since becoming a Mum. No “Mummy magazines” appeal to me, I always want to buy magazines but not one jumps out at me or has anything I find interesting inside! Surely I can’t be the only one who is sick to death of the boring Mummy magazines or the trashy magazines that are packed full of lies? How about a magazines that has a good mix of interesting articles about strong women, recipes, realistic interior design tips, great articles on child development, home making suggestions & tips and fashion that appeals to regular adults? Not midriff baring crop top style hideous looks – just classy & classic fashion. 
  •  And if we are really dreaming, heck I would be a surgeon. Science & the medical field really interests me. There is no way I could ever be a nurse & being a G.P wouldn’t be ideal for me, but being a surgeon would be incredibly interesting, rewarding and would be a very respectful career. 
So they are my “unlikely to happen but hey you never know one day they might happen” goals. (Ok realistically the surgeon one will most likely never happen!) I have a few more goals that are starting but they are still developing in my mind at the moment. 
But just between you and I – I have already started work on one of these goals – I may not get to exactly where I dream, but at least I am starting!! 
(Did any of those goals surprise any of you?)
And I like to keep this thought in the back of my mind when I am doubting myself…

If you had asked me the same question back when I was 18 and fresh out of high school my answers would’ve been very different. They most likely would have been;
  • Travel everywhere, see & experience everything.
  • Be a photographer.
  • Be a journalist for either Rolling Stone or National Geographic (such a typical 18 year old dream). 
  • Or be a lawyer. 
And to be honest I did want to do journalism for a very long time, I did start it at university but surviving on your own in a town hours away from your parents & supporting yourself while dealing with a personal family matter was just too much, I couldn’t do it and I quit. I kind of hate that I quit – but at the same time I feel everything happens for a reason. I ended up working very hard and worked my way through a dodgy job up into a better job with a better position that I feel I should’ve needed a degree to do and that was doing advertising & promotions for a large company. I ran all their promotions, redesigned their whole entire store & over saw the construction of that project & hosted a successful store reopening and did a lot of media campaigns for them. I am proud of the work I have done in a short amount time, even though I know compared to others it really isn’t much. 
I also wanted to do law for what feels like my whole life, like since I was 7 & it is something I am still interested in! But the older I’ve got the more I’ve realised I don’t think that field is for me. Yes I am fairly ruthless & can argue amazingly but to me it seems like a very high stress & at times corrupt job. Not meaning you have to be corrupt to do law, but like every industry there are dodgy people & I don’t agree with that – especially when it comes to dealing with criminals. I just don’t feel like I need a stressful job – I have enough stress already! 
And with travelling I still want to, but my expectations have kind of changed. I think more now about what will benefit LuLu better instead of myself, so that is why we are waiting until she is much older until we travel – so she will remember it better. I think paying an exorbitant amount of money for an overseas holiday with a 1 year old is kind of insane, I would much prefer to go when she is older, so she can actually remember the trip! 

I think it’s great to look back at different stages of my life & see what I considered a “goal” at that point. I’m sure in 5 or 10 years my dreams will be very different again, but I guess that happens. As we mature we develop new interests & dreams – I think it all depends on the season of our life. 
But right now in this season for me, I am focused on being an amazing Mumma, wife & daughter! Anything else I achieve in during this time is an added bonus!

So what would YOU do if you knew you could not fail?
What are you dreams? 
Have a beautiful Sunday!!